NRC, japan get their story straight

from out friends at businessweek comes the story everyone's been waiting to hear:

"Radiation containment units at Japan’s Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear reactors are intact and the situation at the plant “is on the verge of stabilizing,” a U.S. Nuclear Regulatory Commission official said."

now you know all you need to know, you lilly-livered, panicky, quivering bowl of jello out there in TV Land.

the investor class wants you to stay calm. go to the mall and make some major purchases on your new credit card. all is well:

"Containment at units 1, 2 and 3 appear to be functional,” Borchardt said. “The fact that offsite power is close to being available for use at plant equipment is perhaps the first optimistic sign that things could be turning around.”

OMG! did he say "the first optimistic sign"? what about all the previous reassurances that everything has been all right? we've been hearing for days that everything is all right -- and now here's the wrench into all their promises.

while we're talking about turning the corner in japan, and finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, bringing matters closer to home, we have even more reassurances:

“We have an obligation to the American people to undertake a systematic and methodical review of the safety of our own domestic nuclear facilities in light of the natural disaster and the resulting nuclear situation in Japan,” NRC Chairman Gregory Jaczko said today.
Obama administration officials have said radiation from the Japanese plant won’t reach the U.S. They’ve also downplayed the risk of a similar crisis at U.S. nuclear plants.

it's nice to know that the US government, while being so candid and reassuring about the situation in japan, is also stepping up and giving all y'all the peace of mind you need to go about your business as usual. do not worry about the nuke plant over in the next county.

we have one of those monsters on either side of my pretty metropolis -- we're kind of a meatball sandwich with our own toaster oven on either side. the rest of the 104 nuke plants will be inspected in the next 90 days -- otherwise, it would seem like just a foregone conclusion, and that the government made no effort to investigate at all.

but just to minimize any uneasiness before the official findings are released, the NRC really DOES make the report's findings a foregone conclusion:

U.S. nuclear plants are built to withstand the “maximum credible” natural disasters for their location, including earthquakes and tsunamis, according to the NRC.

no suspense there, eh? who's willing to bet that the NRC finds NO deficiencies whatsoever at ANY of the US' nuclear facilities? there's never any problems -- until there's a problem. and even then, it's just a matter of looking on the bright side, to find the silver lining in this cloud.

even if the rain is radioactive...