what are we gonna do now?

the US has steadfastly stood by hosni mubarak ever since anwar sadat was gunned down by a very, very unhappy citizen of his country -- no great outpouring of grief there! -- and now that mubarak is on the ropes, we don't know what to do!

joe biden said the obvious: our pal is NOT a dicktator... but the truth is, he is a dictator and we really haven't much cared who knows it. he held sham elections a few weeks ago and he wouldn't even let anybody who opposed him run. how much worse can you get?

it's just for the sake of $2 billion a year in US payola that the egyptian pharaohs exist to begin with. the sadat took our dirty money to sign a peace treaty with israel, and mubarak has been steadfast in keeping the hand out in his own behalf ever since he came on the scene.

now an over-ripe 82, he was hoping to put his son gamal in the chair, but nobody likes gamal. the people all saw how the tunisians rose up against their tinhorn dicktator the other week, and they found their pride. it was behind the couch the whole time! and when they got out of their friday-go-to-meeting, they pulled out that pride and they showed it on facebook! the tweeted about it! mubarak turned off the TV but it's too late.

it's too late for a dicktator in egypt... what are we gonna do now?

there's a very big problem about all this... it's called the gulf monarchies. when the US rushed to the aid of the dicktator of kuwait to save his bank accounts from bad-ass saddam, we were very much appreciated by his brother dicktator in saudi arabia. they saudi playboy princes -- there are about 10,000 of 'em -- need our support to stay in their whoring and drinking business! the binladen group is their favored contractor! we need the saudi monarchy and all the other benevolent dicktators in the oil bucket states to keep the tap flowing freely to the good 'ol USA. we can't start having the good 'ol hegemonic system of USA domination of the world's oil riches come unglued by something as silly and impossibly impractical as freedom and human rights! the USA has a right to use the most oil, and that means we need reliable dicktators to screw over their own people in exchange for obscene amounts of riches, which are not shared with the other people who happen to live in their countries!

so we're in kind of a pickle. even FOX news cannot paper over this one. if the people of the middle east rise up and throw off their dicktators, jesus will NEVER come back. the israelis will just have to fend for themselves, because we won't have the cash to keep bailing them out if we have to pay real money for all that oil!

rise arab people, rise! let's show the neocons that you guys aren't stupid. we've kept you down and humiliated you for all these decades, but now the colonial era is finally coming to an end. can you feel it? do you have the taste of freedom. can you catch of whiff of the payday that's coming your way?

joe biden, hillary clinton -- you're too damn late! you were always on the wrong side, though. you can pretend all you want now that you support human rights and democracy, but when it really counted, you guys were nowhere to be found. you were hobnobbing with the dicktators, we read about it in wikileaks. so you can deny it all you want, but you're out in the cold, you bet on the wrong team.

YOU LOSE!

now watch, they'll all be crying in washington, "what do we do now"

shut up, fuckers. you've already caused enough harm.

and you're next!